You Should Never Fight Your Feelings
by xoxJoJoRulesBabyxox
Summary: Its The Day After "The Last Man". Tosh Is Back At Work, This Is How She Feels. My First Torchwood Story, Just Hints Of Relationships, R&R!


This Is My First Torchwood Story ) YAYYYYYAYY

Spoilers Up To The Last Man ) Ive Not Long Got Into Torchwood ) But I Love IT

**Disclaimer: **I Don't Own Torchwood, The BBC Do. If I Did, Rhys Would Have Stayed Dead, Tosh & Owen Would Be Together & Captain Jack Harkness Would Be All Mine (Sorry Ianto & Gwen) & He Would Sing Me Anything Goes All Day )

Read & Review ) Enjoyyyy

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"Lets Hope We're Worth It"

Toshiko pushed herself away from the railings, letting the tears fall as she walked away from Owen.

Owen. The one guy she had liked for as long as she could remember, but since Tommy, and what she had to do today, her feelings for him had lessened.

She could feel Owen watching her as she walked away, she continued to walk, not looking back, not caring where her footsteps took her.

Before she knew it, she was in front of her flat, her thoughts were jumbled. Her life consisted of nothing but Torchwood, and that always brought, danger, and death.

She walked into her flat, and closed the door, taking a deep breath, she looked around, she never realised how empty or quiet it was.

She dropped her bag on the kitchen counter and walked over to the sofa, without kicking her shoes off, she curled up on the sofa and the let the tears take over her.

Tomorrow was the day she dreaded, going back to work, Torchwood, the place that ruled her life.

Toshiko, woke from crying herself to sleep the previous night, she remembered it all, as her thoughts unscrambled them self's.

Pulling herself together she glanced at the clock, and sighed, she needed to be at work soon. Toshiko glanced at her reflection in the mirror, and got to work to make herself presentable.

Half an hour later, Tosh re-checked herself in the mirror, she was never one for vanity, but she didn't want the others worrying about her. Sighing again, she picked up her bag and left her flat.

As Toshiko entered the hub, she saw that Ianto was already there, he looked up to see the arrival.

He spread a sympathetic smile across his face "Tosh, Good Morning, How Are You?"

Tosh, returned his smile, however hers was fake, smiling was the one thing she didn't want to do.

"Morning Ianto, I'm Fine Thank you" she turned to her work station, now she had to find something to keep her busy for the day, and also to keep out of other's way.

She heard the entrance open again and heard Owen & Gwen enter, talking in low hushed voices, there conversation stopped a soon as they saw Toshiko. She guessed she was the reason.

Gwen passed her with Owen and gave her a warm smile, as they walked towards Ianto, Tosh returned it, counting the amount of fake smiles she would have plastered across her face, 2 so far, she decided that more would surely follow.

She then saw Jack, sat in his office watching the team; she caught his eye, & made sure to break it as soon as possible.

She didn't blame Jack, for what happened, there was no one to blame, except herself for falling for Tommy.

The hours seemed to go slow in the Hub, no aliens that needed capturing, and for once she wished there was. Tosh spent most of the day sat at her desk, always turning down coffee from Ianto. She was aware the glances the others kept throwing at her, and worried glance between themselves.

Jack stayed in his office, only seeing the Ianto, when he brought him a fresh supply of coffee.

As the day was drawing to a close, Toshiko was relieved, she got to go home, curl up on her couch, open a bottle of wine, and wallow in her feelings.

Jack came out of his office and looked at the others, who immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to face his direction.

His blues eyes swept over the team, and landed on Toshiko. "Tosh, can I have a word please"

Gwen, Ianto & Owen's eyes followed Jacks, to look at Tosh, she refused to look him in the eye.

"Yeah sure" As he followed him back into his office, she looked at Owen, he gave her a genuine smile, which made her want to smile, and this time not a fake one, not another to add to her counter.

As they sat opposite one another in his office; she refused to meet those eyes, and instead decided to look at her hands, all off a sudden they seemed the most interesting thing in the world.

"Tosh, I know last night was very hard for you, and I wish you didn't have to do it, or feel the pain that you feel now."

Tosh just nodded, and continued staring at her hands.

Jack spoke once more "Toshiko, please just look at me!" She looked up into those eyes, worry rimmed them.

"I'm so sorry" his voice was soft, and close to breaking. In this job, we witnessed so much death, and lost people we shouldn't, Tosh knew Jack would always have that, being immortal.

Tosh broke the contact with those piercing blue eyes, and looked down at her hands once more. Out of nowhere she found the courage to talk.

"The thing that hurts is that Tommy made me feel normal, for one day a year, I had somebody in my life that liked me for me, and I didn't have to lie to."

Jack looked at her, as she raised her head to look at him.

"Today, when he asked me what you had told me, every bit of me wanted me to tell him, what happens to him. But I didn't because I knew he wouldn't go if he knew. I lied to him."

"You lied to save the world" He said it with gentleness in his voice.

"Yeah …. Well" Tosh got up out of the chair and walked out of Jack's office, and straight out of the hub, ignoring the looks of the others as she passed.

As she reached the pavement she realised that Ianto was behind her.

"Oh Ianto you scared me, I didn't no you were there."

He looked at her with concern. "It will get easier, the pain will lessen, and you will learn to live with it. I did, with Lisa; I loved her more than anything. It will get easier"

As Ianto walked back into the Hub, Tosh started to cry, she didn't no how it was going to get easier.

Then she felt him, his arms wrapped her up to protect her. She seemed to fit in his arms perfectly.

She turned her head to face him. Owen whispered words of comfort to her, and held her tight.

She knew then that it would get easier, if she could have stayed in his arms forever.

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I Hoped You Enjoyed It )

R&R Make Me A Happy Bunny!


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